Here's another W-2, H&R blonde.

这有另一张W-2表，税务金发妞

Thank you. Max, you worked at a Mexican restaurant in long island city?

谢谢。麦克斯，你还在长岛的一家墨西哥餐馆工作过啦

Oh, my God, don't be so judgmental.

天啊，你别戴有色眼镜行不行

Mira, look! I just found a receipt for shoe insoles and double-stick tape. Work expense.

快看!我刚找到一张鞋垫和双面胶的收据。工作花销

Again, senorita, not a write-off.

再说一遍，小姐，这不能核销

Like when you asked if you could claim your pot dealer as an entertainment expense.

跟刚才你问能不能把买毒钱以娱乐花销退税一样

So I was wrong. We've all got our talents.

所以我错了嘛，我们都有各自的天赋

You're great at doing paperwork, and I'm great at baking and finding places to have sex at carnivals.

你擅长做文书工作，而我擅长烘培和在嘉年华找做爱的绝佳地点

Just add that to the pile I'm calling "evidence for your future audit."

把这个放进我命名为"你未来审计的证据"那一类

Not there, that's Earl's tax return. Can I see a copy of what you filed last year?

不是那里，那是厄尔的退税单。我能看一眼你去年的报税单吗

Ugh... I didn't file last year. Or the year before or any year ever.

我去年没报税。前年也没有，之前每一年都没有

Wait, you've never paid your taxes?

等等，你从来没纳过税吗

No, I've never filed my taxes. I've paid taxes. I see it on my check.

我只是从来没报过税。我纳过税啊，我在支票上有看到

$8 to the state, 15 in federal income, 6.23 to Fica, whoever that lucky bitch is.

8块给国家，15块给联邦收入，6.23块给"社宝"，那贱货真幸运。

Max, why didn't you tell me the severity of this last night?

麦克斯，你昨晚怎么不早说你这惨况啊

Um, maybe you haven't noticed, but I have issues around money.

你难道不知道，我对钱的事一窍不通吗

Every year, I say I'm going to file, and then I put it off and put it off

每一年，我都下决心要报税，然后拖延症病发，一直拖拖拖

until the day it's due, like today, and then I sit down with a 1040 and my W-2s,

拖到截止日期的那一天，比如今天，我就拿着1040表和W-2表坐下来

and right around the fourth question, I'm like, screw it!

回答到大概第四个问题，我就会心想，管它去死

I'm gonna watch old soul train clips on YouTube before work.

还是趁上班前，看几段《灵魂列车》的视频吧

And then I feel like a loser until tax day is over.

直到报税日结束，一直觉得自己是废柴

And then I'm like, who cares? I'm awesome. I'll do them next year.

之后就想，管它去死，老娘最棒了。明年再好好报吧

英语口语