伍迪单口相声精选 第10期:艾格斯·本尼迪克特Eggs Benedict
有一次我胸口部位很疼。
Now, I was sure it was heartburn, y'know, 'cause atthat time I was married and my wife cooking withher nazi recipies, y'know, chicken Himmler.
我想那一定是胃灼热，因为那时我已经结婚了，我妻子总是做那些纳粹食谱给我吃，譬如“希姆莱子鸡”。
I didn't wanna pay twenty-five bucks to have itreaffirmed by some medic, that I had heartburn. ButI was worried 'cause it was in the chestal area.
我不想付二十五美元让医生给我确诊一下我是不是有胃灼热。但是我又很担心，因为那是在胸口部位。
Then it turns out my friend, Eggs Benedict, has a pain in his chestal area, in the same exactspot.
碰巧的是我朋友，他叫艾格斯·本尼迪克特(又是一种早餐名，“火腿蛋松饼”，也有用三文鱼和烤面包等做的。) ，也在胸口的部位疼痛，完全是同一个位置。
I figured if I could get Eggs to go to the doctor, I could figure out what was wrong with me, atno charge, so I con Eggs.
我想要是我能让艾格斯去看医生，那样我也知道我出了什么问题，不用花钱。于是我就骗艾格斯。
He goes. Turns out he's got heartburn.
他去了。结果是他有胃灼热。
Cost him twenty-five dollars, and I feel great, 'cause I figured I beat the medic out of twenty-five big ones, y'know.
花了他二十五美元。我感觉好极了，因为我想我省下了整整二十五大元的就医钱。
Called up Eggs two days later-he died.
两天后我打电话找艾格斯——他死了。
I check into a hospital immediately, have a battery of test run and x-rays. Turns out I gotheartburn. Cost me a hundred and ten dollars.
我立即跑去医院检查，连番做了一系列化验和透视，结果我得的就是胃灼热。花了我110美元。
Now I'm furious. I run to Eggs' mother, and I say: "Did he suffer much?"
我极其生气，跑去找艾格斯的妈妈，我问她：“他死时有没有遭很多罪?”
And she said: "No, it was quick. Car hit him and that was it."
她说：“没有，很快。车子撞上他后，一下就过去了。”
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