Dear Annie: When I was in college, I was goodfriends with "Carrie." When Carrie met my boyfriend,she was rather intoxicated and said some hurtfulthings about him. Carrie went on and on about howshe couldn't believe I would date a frat boy, that Iwas better than that, etc.

亲爱的安妮：大学时，我有个好朋友叫“凯利”?？轿夷信笥咽焙茸砹耍缓蟀阉档靡晃奘谴ΑＫ咸喜痪亟沧?，说她还是不敢相信我会跟一个联谊会的男孩交往，我能找到更好的，等等。

Carrie apologized the next day. I married theboyfriend and still keep in touch with Carrie. But even after two years, I cannot shake what shesaid. I know her well enough to realize that while she was sorry, she meant every word. Carriehas asked to visit a couple of times, and I keep making excuses because it would beuncomfortable.

第二天凯利道歉了。我与男朋友结了婚，与凯利还保持着联系。但即使两年过后，我还是不能忘记她说过的话。我很了解她，她如果道歉，每一句都是认真的。好几次凯利想来拜访我，我都找借口拒绝了，因为这让我感觉不舒服。

I know her loose tongue was a result of the drinking and she did apologize, but I can't forgetthe incident. What should I say when she tells me she'd like to come and stay with us? —Confused Since College

我知道她嘴巴不严是因为喝醉的缘故，而且她的确道歉了，但我始终无法忘记那件事。她再提起想过来跟我们住一阵子时，我该怎么做呢?

Dear Confused: Even if Carrie meant those words at the time, it doesn't mean she still feelsthat way. Before inviting Carrie to visit, have a frank discussion. Tell her you are still botheredby those comments about your husband and, because you value the friendship so highly, wouldlike to clear the air. See what she says before checking her off your guest list.

亲爱的小糊涂：即使凯利当时是认真的，也不代表她现在还那样认为。在邀请她之前，与她开诚布公地谈一次话。告诉她你还在为当年她的出言不逊而烦恼，因为你是如此珍视你们之间的友谊，所以想消除误会?？纯此嵊泻畏从?，然后再决定是否将它从客人名单上划掉。