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亲爱的安妮：

My 21-year-old niece has been dealing with adrinking problem since high school. I also have adrinking problem that only my husband and kidsknow about. My husband, who was having a serioustalk with my niece, decided it was in her bestinterest to tell her about my problem.

我21岁的侄女在高中就染上了酗酒恶习。我也有酗酒的毛病，但只有我的丈夫和孩子知道这一点。我的丈夫和我的侄女进行了一次严肃的谈话，决定告诉她我酗酒的秘密。他认为这样做对她有好处。

I am very private and want no one to know about my drinking because of the stigma attached.I don't want my parents or siblings to have to worry about me or look at me differently.

我非常自私。我希望没有人知道我的酗酒恶习，因为我认为那是一种耻辱。我不希望我的父母或兄弟姐妹们为我担心，也不希望他们以异样的眼光看我。

I can't be certain my niece will blab this information to everyone, but somehow, I think she willeventually. Do you think my husband had good reason to tell her? I don't see how it wouldhelp, and it sure made me angry. Shouldn't such personal information come directly from me? - Upset Wife

我不知道我侄女会不会把我的这个秘密告诉每个人。但我觉得她最终会的。你认为我的丈夫有权利告诉她我的秘密吗?我不知道这对我的侄女会否有所帮助，但这肯定让我很生气。这样的个人秘密难不应只属于我一人吗? —— 一个忐忑不安的妻子

Dear Upset:

亲爱的忐忑女士：

Your husband should have asked you first if it was okay to give your niece this information, butyou can't put the cat back in the bag. It is very possible that learning her aunt has a similarproblem was comforting to your niece and will inspire her to work harder. We think having thisinformation will do more good than harm, and we hope you will forgive your husband so you canbe a source of encouragement to your niece.

你的丈夫在向你侄女透露这个秘密之前，确实应该征询你的意见。但另一方面，你总不能把秘密守一辈子吧?也许当你的侄女知道她的婶婶也有同样的困扰时，她会稍感平衡，并将激励她更加努力地工作。我们认为，将这个秘密告诉你的侄女，总会利大于弊。我们希望你会原谅你的丈夫，还希望你可以给你的侄女予以鼓励。