Here's Why This One is Hard, by Liz

这就是此事如此艰难的原因——利兹

Because it's you—not someone you read about orheard about or saw on TV. It's you and it's hard.

因为当事人是你——不是什么你在书上看到的，不是听人说的，也不是在电视上看到的。是你自己身上发生的事，因而如此艰难。

And you deserve happiness just like his wife or hisgirlfriend does.

你和他妻子或者女朋友一样值得幸福。

And sometimes people get married before they've actually met the person they're meant to bewith.

有时候人们在遇见命定之人之前就结婚了。

Or marriages just die and there's nothing left to them.

或者婚姻就是破灭了，什么都没留下。

And if they're not married, but somehow deeply distracted by someone else, well, most men areusually coming out of some situation while they get into the next one...so why not hang on fordear life until he shakes off his ex?

如果他们未婚，但是不知为何被其他人吸引了，大多数男人在碰见另一个人的时候可以走出此种处境……为什么不着手于自己的生活，直到他摆脱前任呢?

The operative word in both cases here is "wait."

两种情况下的有效词都是“等待”。

You have to do the waiting—the biding your time, biting your tongue, keeping your needsquiet.

你必须等待——投入你的时间，闭紧你的嘴巴，舍弃你的需求。

He's so special, that guy.

那个男人是如此特别。

He deserves to have you sit around, putting your life on hold, not getting what you want, whilehe takes his time sorting it all out.

他值得你在他理清所有事情期间无所事事，搁置你的人生，得不到你所想要的。

He's that special. You, of course, aren't at all.

他是如此特别。而你显然并不是。

Now, I happen to be really good at biding my time and asking for little and being happy withthe even less that I get.

现在，我正好如此善于打发时间，要求甚少，得到的比期望要少还是很开心。

I haven't personally dated a married man, but I am an expert in dating emotionallyunavailable ones.

我个人从未跟已婚男人约会过，但是在和情感上不可得的人约会上，我可是个专家。

I have to be honest—it feels really noble and romantic and dramatic to be filled with longingand heartache, knowing the man you love, for whatever reason, can't be yours right now.

说实话——得知自己所爱之人，不管出于何种缘由，目前无法成为自己的，让人感觉到了充满了渴望和心痛的高尚、浪漫以及戏剧感。

And you're willing to wait for him, because your feelings for him are so very large andprofound.

然而你愿意等他，因为你对他的爱恋是如此强烈和深刻。

Of course, I am now suspicious that my feelings for them all felt so large and profoundprecisely because they couldn't be mine, but I wouldn't be able to prove that in court.

当然了，我现在开始怀疑自己对他们的感情是否都是如此强烈而又深刻，因为他们不可能属于我，但是我又无法公之于众。

If you're really comfortable with that, too, and nothing that this audio book or your friends oryour therapist can say will help you change that, then eventually, I hope, like me, you'lleventually just get tired of it.

如果你真的可以接受，那这本有声书书、你的朋友或者你的心理治疗师都无法帮你改变什么，最终，我希望你能像我一样对此厌倦。