The "But He's Really a Good Person" Excuse

“但是他真的是一个好人”的借口

Dear Greg,

亲爱的格雷格，

I never thought I'd be in this situation.

我从未想过我会深陷此境。

I know you're not supposed to date married men,but here I am.

我知道不应该跟已婚男人恋爱，但是我已经做了。

I met him at a conference out of town, but ended up seeing him for work reasons in the city Ilive in.

我在城外的一场会议上遇到了他，但是最后由于工作原因在我居住的城市再次看见他。

We fell in love and one thing led to another.

我们陷入爱河，顺理成章的发展着。

We see each other whenever he's in town, which is often.

我们经常在他在镇上的时候见面。

It would be easy to think all the bad things I should think about this situation, except for thefact that he is a kind, good man.

想想在此境地的坏方面会更容易，除了他是个善良的好人这一事实。

He has never done anything like this before.

他在此之前从未做过这样的事。

And he never says anything bad about his wife.

而且他从未讲过他妻子的坏话。

We are deeply in love. I'm thirty-six years old and I have never in my life felt anything thispowerful before.

我们彼此深爱对方。我现年36岁，在我的生命中从未感觉到过这么浓烈的感情。

He says the same thing, too.

他亦如是说。

He talks about leaving his wife, but he has two young children, and this would be devastatingto them.

他说他要离开他的妻子，但是他还有两个小孩，这对他们来说太残酷了。

He is tortured by it all. I feel awful, and yet I also believe I deserve to feel this kind of love.

他为此深受折磨。我也觉得难过，但是我仍然认为我值得这份爱。

And if it feels so huge, it must be real and meant to be.

而且既然这感觉如此强烈，那它一定是真的，是命中注定的。

This isn't the typical dating-a-married-guy story, Greg. This is me. And it feels completelydifferent.

这并非是典型的和已婚男人约会的事例，格雷格。这是发生在我身上的。而且这感觉完全不同。

Signed Belinda

贝琳达

Dear Other Woman,

亲爱的第三者，

Hey, smart girl. Good for you to know you deserve to feel a powerful and profound love.

嘿，聪明的女孩儿。知道自己值得一段强烈深刻的爱情这很好。

I just think you should have it with someone who's actually yours.

我只是认为你应该找一个确实属于你自己的人发展。

There's plenty of guys out there. Why not get one of your own?

大把的男人在等着你。为什么不挑一个属于你自己的呢?

Sure, okay, sometimes people fall out of love, marry the wrong person, are overcome withpassion, or make bad choices, all of which can result in an affair.

当然了，有时候人们陷入爱河，和错误的人结婚，激情褪去后，或者做了错误的选择后，都会导致外遇。

Here's how you and Ring Finger Fred can handle this situation now: Stop seeing each other; lethim figure out his life.

这就是和无名指弗雷德处理这种情况的方法：停止见面，让他搞清楚自己的生活。

If he ends up staying with his wife, then you would have been that girl who was having an affairwith the guy who was never planning on leaving his wife.

如果他最终选择和他的妻子一起，那你就成了一个和一个从未想过离开自己妻子的男人搞外遇的女孩儿。

If he does leave his wife, then you can start a life with him not based in shame.

如果他离开他的妻子，那你可以和他开始无需羞耻的生活。

Sincerely, Greg

真诚的，格雷格

This is no joke, and I'm not even going to try to be glib (even if I was a little in the letterabove) .

这不是开玩笑，我并不想变的油嘴滑舌(尽管在上文中有些倾向)。

You want love and you want to be loved and you think you've finally found it. But he's married.

你想去爱和被爱，并认为自己最终能找到。但是他已经结婚了。

Please try not to ignore that fact. He's married to someone else.

请别试着去忽略这个事实，他已经和别人结婚了。

I know you're different, and it's different, but the fact is, he's still married.

我知道你是不同的，这也很特殊，但是事实是，他还是结婚了。

If there's only one red flag you are unable to ignore in your entire life, please make it this one.

如果你的人生中只有一个无法忽略的红旗，请把它用于此事。

There's simply too much at stake for everyone involved.

所有卷入其中的人都有着太多的利害关系了。