The "Is This Really an Excuse?" Dilemma

“这真是借口吗”的窘境

Dear Greg, I'm thirty-three and have been livingwith a guy for two years.

亲爱的格雷格，我33岁，和男友同居2年了。

We are in love, he's great to me, and we get alongperfectly.

我们很相爱，他对我很好，我们相处的很圆满。

He has no problems committing to me—he justdoesn't want to get married.

他对我开诚布公——他只是不想结婚。

He married young and got divorced young.

他年轻时结过婚，然后没多久离婚了。

He says he doesn't want to ruin a good thing.

他说他不想毁掉一件美好的事。

It seems insane of me to break up with him because he doesn't want to get married.

如果我因为他不想结婚而跟他分手，那我一定是疯了。

We are sharing a life together and are very happy.

我们共享生活，非常开心。

He's even open to having kids. He just doesn't want to get married.

他甚至答应要小孩，他只是不想结婚而已。

In this case, I don't think he's just not that into me. I think he's just not that into marriage.

此种情况，我不认为他不是没那么喜欢我，我觉得他只是不喜欢婚姻。

Signed Lindsey

琳赛

Dear Common Law Lady, Okay, this may be controversial, but I'm going to say it.

亲爱的普通法女士，好吧，也许这有争议，但是我还是要这么说。

No matter how traumatic a divorce was (and I know they can be traumatic in epic proportions) ,the person you plan on spending your life and having children with should love you enough toget over it if getting married is important to you.

不管离婚的创伤有多大(我知道它可以是史上罕见的创伤)，如果结婚对你来说很重要的话，这个你打算共度余生，抚育儿女的人应该足够爱你以克服它。

Only you can decide if marriage is a deal breaker for you.

只有你能决定婚姻是否会破坏关系。

I can't tell you if it's worth breaking up with him if you're happy and have a nice life together.That's for you to decide.

我无法告诉你如果现在你开心而且共享愉快生活，和他分手是否值得。那得由你自己决定。

I have never been divorced, I'll give you that, but I'd marry my wife in every time zone if that'swhat she wanted.

我从未离婚过，但我可以告诉你，我妻子想在哪个时区结婚，我就去哪个时区。

In my very conventional opinion, I believe one foot in is the same as one foot out.

在我的传统看法里，我相信一只脚进就有一只脚出。

Greg

格雷格

Marriage is a tradition that has been somewhat imposed on us, and therefore has a lot of critics.

婚姻是颇为强加给我们的一种传统，因此有很多批评家。

Be that as it may, if someone is as against marriage as you are for it, please make sure therearen't other things going on besides he's just not that into the institution.

尽管如此，如果有人跟你一样反对婚姻，请确保他不喜欢婚姻除此之外还有什么其他的原因。