So, what is empathy...

...and why is it very different than sympathy?

Empathy fuels connection.

Sympathy drives disconnection.

Empathy is a choice and it's a vulnerable choice...

...because in order to connect with you,...

...I have to connect with something in myself that knows that feeling.

Rarely, if ever, does an empathic response begin with "at least".

Yeah and we do it all the time because, you know what?

Someone just shared something with us that's incredibly painful...

...and we're trying to "silver lining" it.

I don't think that's a verb, but I'm using it as one.

We're trying to put a silver lining around it.

"So, I had a miscarriage."

"At least you know you can get pregnant."

"I think my marriage is falling apart."

"At least you have a marriage."

"John's getting kicked out of school."

"At least Sarah is an A student."

But one of the things we do sometimes,...

...in the face of very difficult conversations, is we try to make things better.

If I share something with you that's very difficult, I'd rather you say,...

..."I don't even know what to say right now, I'm just so glad you told me."

Because the truth is, rarely can a response make something better.

What makes something better is connection.