Here we will learn true facts about Sloths-es.The three-toed sloth is different from the two-toed sloth in that it has one more finger.Yes,that's confusing.

今天我们要来讲讲关于树懒的真相。三趾树懒和二趾树懒的区别是它要多一根脚趾。是的 这很令人费解。

Regardless,if you're named after the number of toes or fingers that you have,you know you haven't done all that much to stand out.The sloth has razor sharp claws on its fingers and it would be the world's most deadly predator,but only if the world slowed way the fuck down.

如果你的名字是按照你的手指或脚趾的数量来命名，或许你永远也没机会鹤立鸡群。树懒手指上的爪子如剃须刀般锋利 它一定会是世界上最致命的铁血战士 如果这个世界的脚步能TM的放慢一点。

As it is,the sloth mainly eats leaves because they tend not to run away.The only drawback being,they taste like leaves on average,the sloth can move around 3 feet per minute,which is an impressive 3 feet per minute faster than a dead sloth.The sloth spends most of its time in the trees.Although it will climb down once every seven days to urinate and defecate.

就像这样树懒基本只吃树叶 因为树叶大都不会逃跑。唯一的缺点就是 它们尝起来就像树叶 树懒的平均行进时速能达到每分钟3英尺左右 这可要比一只死树懒每分钟快逆天的3英尺啊。树懒的大部分时间都在树上度过。但每过七天它也要爬下树来撒个尿拉个粑粑。

To the insects living below,this is the worst day of the week,Like a tiny insect armageddon with a flood consisting of seven days of sloth urine,Most likely the sloth does not urinate when it's in the tree,because it's hanging upside down.Think about it.That would be messy.Now stop thinking about it.Why are still thinking about it? Seriously.You're disgusting.

对于树下生活的昆虫来说这是每周最崩溃的一天。就像是遭遇了一场被树懒积蓄了七天的尿液崩堤的末日浩劫。这可能是因为树懒在树上都不怎么解手 因为它们都是倒挂着的。想想吧。肯定尿的一塌糊涂。现在不要再想了。你干嘛还一直在想?说真的。你真恶心。

Some sloths appear green because they have algae growing on their fur which provides them with camouflage.Which is the same excuse I would give if I moved so slow that algae grew on me."It's camouflage,mother fuck!""Mind your own business."The sloth is a relative of the anteater and the aardvark.

有些树懒看起来是绿色的因为它们的毛上长有藻类植物 这给它们提供了伪装保护。这同样也是我为自己动作太慢身上长满水藻而经常找的借口。我这是伪装 你懂个屁!“管好你自己吧”树懒也是食蚁兽和土豚的亲戚。

Science isn't sure how they became relatives,but they're sure that it involved a kinky night with an elephant.and a rattlesnake,if you're having a stressed out day,remember the sloth.They don't do shit and they haven't gone extinct.I'm sure you can afford to take a nap.Just don't pee if you're lying on your back.I know you were still thinking about it.

科学界也无法解释它们是怎么勾搭上的 但他们相信月黑风高的那一夜大象一定脱不了干系 还有响尾蛇 如果你这一天过的很辛苦 想想树懒同学。它们鸟事不做一件都TM没灭绝。我觉得你起码能做到去睡个小觉。只要别在躺着的时候撒尿就行了。我知道你还在想那事。