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Our first guest's hands down one of the funniest comedians around this weekend.

我们的第一位嘉宾是本周 最受瞩目的喜剧演员

And she's hosting the 2015 MTV Movie Awards.

她即将主持2015美国MTV电影大奖

Please welcome the fantastic Amy Schumer.

下面有请艾米?舒默

How are you?Good You know we did no see that coming at all.

最近怎么样 很不错 没想到你跳了段舞蹈

It's a surprise to everybody. It's even to you, maybe.

让大家都受惊了 你自己也没想到吧

Including myself, yes. You did not know you'll do it.

对 我也没想到我会来这么一出 你自己也没想到你会这么跳

Wow. So, uh, hi.Hi. How's the...The poster doing, that we gave you?

哇 嗨 嗨 那个 我们给你的那个海报怎么样了

Well, I realize when I got home that it was a hustle hustle gift.

我回到家的时候 我发现那份礼物太拥挤了

What!? It's you got me that that portrait and I live in Manhattan.

什么 你给了我那幅肖像画 我住在曼哈顿

So my apartment is the size of this chair.

所以我的公寓差不多和这椅子差不多大

So it takes up my whole apartment.Oh, no. Yeah.

所以基本上占据了我整个公寓了 不会吧 对

Why don't you move here?Then you'd have a bigger place.

为什么不搬来这里生活 那样公寓就大一点了

Do you like it here?But... I mean I don't fit in here.

你喜欢这里吗 是 但是我不适合这里

Just look straight body type and I got to let my arms register as legs,

看看我这的身材 我的胳膊和腿就跟长反了一样

and it just like...Why is that octopus on sunset? Is that...

看起来就像 看那个夕阳下的章鱼

It's not for me out there. No.It's not. You know. No, but...

这里不适合我 不吗 真不适合 不 但是

What do you do when you're here?I cry.Okay.I just sit in my room,balling, no, I..

你在这能干什么 哭 好吧 我就坐在房间里 缩成一团

英语脱口秀