Q: What life lessons are counter-intuitive or go against common sense or wisdom?

　　问：有哪些人生经验是反直觉或反常识的?

　　Answered by Anonymous

　　匿名回复：

　　So many. Life is a giant lump of contradictions.

　　太多了。生活就是一个巨大的矛盾体。

　　1. People who don't trust other people can't be trusted. I'm not sure why this is true, but it's never failed as a barometer for me. Maybe it's because people who are terrified of getting hurt are more likely to hurt other people first?

　　不要相信不信任别人的人。我也不确定为什么这个是对的，但于我而言，它就像晴雨表一样精准，从没出过错。也许是因为害怕被伤害的人更有可能先去伤害别人吧?

　　2. If you strongly dislike a trait in someone else or are critical of something, you're probably that way yourself. Freud referred to this as "projection." People who are nervous about their own looks call other people ugly. People who are self-conscious about how much money they make criticize other people's jobs.

　　如果你特别不喜欢别人的某种特征，或者对某事很不满，你自己可能就是那样的。弗洛伊德称之为“投射”。对自己相貌很敏感的人会说别人丑。太在意自己薪水的人会非议他人的工作。

　　3. The easiest way to get in a relationship is to be fine alone. Neediness repels people.

　　当一个人别无他求时，自然能与人建立关系。一味索求只会叫人反感。

　　4. The more you try to impress someone, the less they will like you. Don't be a tryhard. People love authenticity. Which leads me to...

　　越是想给人留下好印象，别人越不喜欢你。不要太刻意，人们喜欢真诚。这让我……

　　5. The more you admit your faults and shortcomings, the more people will like you. Being able to admit when you're wrong is a wonderfully attractive quality and gets you a lot of legitimacy. It's endearing.

　　越能坦诚自己的缺点和不足，别人越是喜欢你。勇于承认自己的错误是一种很有魅力的品质，也会让你更受信任。这种品质很讨人喜欢。

　　6. The more you learn, the less you know. I think this is true across the board that the more you learn about something, the more your horizons broaden and you see the limits of your own understanding.

　　学得越多，知道的越少。我相信这一点放之四海而皆准，你对某事了解得越多，眼界越开阔，也就越能发觉自我认知的局限。

　　7. The more available something is, the less we want it (and the less available something is, the more we want it). We unconsciously assume that the more scarce something is, the more valuable it is. This is not the case. Such thinking will lead you to chase things you shouldn't and take what you do have for granted if you aren't careful.

　　越容易得到的东西越不想要(相对的，越不容易得到的东西越想要)。我们下意识地认为物以稀为贵，其实不然。如果你不留心，这种想法会让你追求不该追求的，并认为自己所拥有的都是理所当然。

　　8. The more choices you have, the less satisfied you are with any particular one.This is called the paradox of choice. You can read about Decision theory more.

　　选择越多，那么你就会对自己的决定就越不满意，不论选哪个。有兴趣的话你可以去了解和决策论有关的知识。

　　9. And my personal favorite - the only constant is change.

　　还有我自己最喜欢的一条——唯一不变的就是变化本身。