[00:00.00] UNIT 8
[00:03.21]Making an Apology
[00:07.58]Integrated Skills Development
[00:12.33]Passage Addressing the First-Name custom
[00:19.04]The first-naming is almost always done by people young enough to be our children.
[00:26.38]Last year,I sprained my ankle on my way to work,
[00:31.95]and when I hobbled to a doctor's office,
[00:36.08]the young receptionist called my turn,saying,
[00:40.93]"This way,Tom." I noted a paradox when the doctor,
[00:46.81]who was almost exactly my age,said:"That's a very serious sprain,Mr.Middleton."
[00:53.66]This from of address is common not simply in doctors' and dentists' offices,
[01:01.39]but almost everywhere.
[01:04.73]At a local bank the other day the young woman who was dealing with me,
[01:11.08]after checking my name out on the withdrawal slip,
[01:15.94]wished me "Merry Christmas,Thomas."
[01:20.30]Doctors' and dentists' assistants seem
[01:25.66]to be a little uneasy to call me "Tom",though.
[01:30.41]Perhaps I got a glimpse of the reason for this a few months ago when at a party,
[01:37.46]I met a young man who had recently become a doctor.
[01:42.45]He told me that he had been taught in school that,
[01:47.91]as a doctor,he should call his patients,no matter what their age,
[01:54.16]by their first names,but that they should address him as Dr.Gilbert.
[02:01.73]That would gain him respect,he'd been told.
[02:06.88]We involved the entire party in the discussion,and,not surpris-ingly,
[02:14.45]everyone over 40 expressed great displeasure at being first-named
[02:20.80]by people whose first names they didn't even know.
[02:25.87]One lady,who had been introduced as Patty,
[02:31.12]said she was particularly annoyed at being called"Patricia".
[02:36.68]"No one has ever called me Patricia,"she said,
[02:41.33]"except my mother when she was angry about something."
[02:46.19]That must be especially irritating—to have strangers call you Patricia,
[02:53.92]or Margaret,
[02:57.11]or Elizabeth when every one who knows you calls you Pat,Patsy,Patty,
[03:03.88]Trish or Tricia;Meg,Maggie,Peg or Peggy; Liz,Lizzie,Beth,Betty or Betsy.
[03:11.63]Most of us are timid about being thought stuffed shirts or pompous asses
[03:20.18]if we ask to be called mr.,Mrs.,Miss,or Ms.Lastname instead of our first names,
[03:28.22]but the irritation is wiedespread,and we really should speak up.
[03:34.67]Over the years,
[03:38.23]I've heard from many ladies
[03:41.70]who've described what they regard as a thoroughly humiliating experience.
[03:47.55]Typically,these letters say,
[03:51.18]"Last week,I saw a doctor who was about the age of my grandson.
[03:57.04]This young man,whom I had just called,'Dr.Jones,'said,'Adelaide,
[04:04.61]climb up here,and we'll see about that pain in your shoulder.'
[04:10.49]You can hardly imagine what reactions I had,
[04:15.63]while I was dressed in one of those awful gowns they have.
[04:20.91]The whole experience is insulting,
[04:24.99]and the 'Adelaie' from this youngster was insufferable.
[04:30.45]I felt like calling him 'Sonny' or 'Junior,' but my upbring prevented me."