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Unit 45

The Myth of Superwoman

For the past generation, our society has tried to sell us the idea of the woman who "has it all" and "does it all". We stand in awe of women who run successful businesses, volunteer for community service, keep beautifully decorated homes, send hand-written letters, cook and entertain guests with style, attend artistic functions, bring up happy children and look like a million bucks to boot. As we stand gaping at these idols of domestic and economic success, we wonder exactly where we fell short of achieving their outstanding merits.

Was it when we had the third or fourth child and suddenly found ourselves lacking in extra hands? Was it when we burned supper on the stove while trying to retrieve the crayons from toddler who has redecorated a wall? Was it when we sat down in the midst of a toy-strewn living room only to hear the doorbell ring and suddenly remember this was our afternoon to host the monthly ladies? These are not the questions we ought to ask ourselves. The real question is, "When did I buy into this myth that I can do it all?"

Because we have this tendency to accept what we see superficially as deep-down reality, we need to be careful that we do not idealize people we do not know. We especially need to be careful that we don't make them a false standard and spend frustrated hours trying to achieve what we believe they have done. It's time to allow our idols to step down and be the flesh-and-blood human beings that they are.

Superwoman is dead. In fact, Superwoman never existed except in our wildest imaginations. The whole notion that one woman can have it all and do it all is false from beginning to end. The amazing thing is that we are gullible enough to accept it as truth and feel guilty for not achieving what we feel we are somehow obligated as women to achieve.

It is time to free ourselves from this false standard. We all must make choices about what we do. When you choose one thing, something else must necessarily fall through the cracks. It's wrong to feel guilty that we aren't able to cram more things into our already overcrowded days.

Trying to be Superwoman doesn't help anyone. It cannot be done. It is a sure path to failure and disappointment. The path to life and health and peace is the way of humility, service and love for others, not seeking praise or recognition but being willing to work hard day after day and find our fulfillment in what God has given our hands to do. Let Superwoman die; put her superhuman accomplishments out of your mind.

When we make the decision not to be Superwoman, we make the decision to put other people before our own desires, the desires that take many shapes. For one woman it is the desires to have a successful business career. For another it is a classy wardrobe and flawless appearance. For yet another it is the shining talent that must not be hidden. Accomplishments can and do have their place in life, but they must never replace our relationships with flesh-and-flood people.