[ti:] [ar:] [al:] [by:] [00:02.00]Passage 90. Old Friends, Good Friends [00:08.12]More than 30 years ago, when I took my first job in New York City, [00:13.91]I found myself working with a number of young women. [00:17.20]Some I got to know just in passing, but others gradually became my friends. [00:23.21]Today, six of these women remain an important part of my life. [00:28.51]They are more than simply friends, more even than close friends. [00:32.67]They are old friends, as indispensable as sunshine and more dear to me than ever. [00:39.23]These people share a long-standing history with me. [00:43.60]In fact, old friends are a lot like promises. [00:47.33]They put reliability into the uncertainty of life [00:51.48]and establish a reassuring link between the past, present,and future. [00:56.96]The attachment between friends who have known each other for many years is bound to be complex. [01:04.40]On occasion we are exceedingly close, and at other times one or both of us invariably step back. [01:12.38]Ebb and flow. Thick and thin. [01:16.54]How smoothly and gently we negotiate these hills and valleys [01:20.91]has everything to do with how well the friendship ages. [01:24.74]Sometimes events intervene in a way that requires us to rework the term of a relationship. [01:31.96]A friend starts a second career, let’s say, and suddenly has less free time. [01:37.44]Another remarries,adding someone new to the equation. [01:42.03]Talk honestly and listen to each other to find out if the other’s needs are being met. [01:48.05]Renegotiating pays full tribute to life’s inevitable changes [01:54.07]and says that we deem our friendships worthy of preserving. [01:57.79]Old friends are familiar with the layers of our lives. [02:02.82]They have been there in the gloom and the glory. [02:05.55]Even so, there’s always room to know more about another person. [02:10.37]Of course, self-disclosure can make even old friends more vulnerable, so go slowly: [02:17.26]Confiding can open new doors, but only if we knock first. [02:22.56]Time is the prime commodity between old friends [02:26.94]—by this I mean the time spent doing things together. [02:30.44]Whether it’s face to face over a cup of coffee, [02:33.28]side by side while jogging, ear to ear over the phone, or via email and letters, [02:39.74]don’t let too much time go by without sharing your thoughts with each other.

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