[ti:] [ar:] [al:] [by:] [00:03.21]Passage 14. Self-Esteem [00:07.69]Self-esteem is the combination of self-confidence and self-respect [00:14.36]—the conviction that you are competent to cope with life’s challenges [00:19.28]and are worthy of happiness. [00:21.58]Self-esteem is the way you talk to yourself about yourself. [00:25.85]Self-esteem has two interrelated aspects; [00:29.79]it entails a sense of personal efficacy and a sense of personal worth. [00:35.80]It is the integrated sum of self-confidence and self-respect. [00:40.73]It is the conviction that one is competent to live and worthy of living. [00:46.75]Our self-esteem and self-image are developed by how we talk to ourselves. [00:52.66]All of us have conscious and unconscious memories of all the times we felt bad or wrong [00:59.33]—they are part of the unavoidable scars of childhood. [01:03.71]This is where the critical voice gets started. [01:07.21]Everyone has a critical inner voice. [01:10.05]People with low self-esteem simply have a more vicious and demeaning inner voice. [01:15.96]Psychologists say that almost every aspect of our lives [01:20.78]—our personal happiness, success, relationships with others, achievement, creativity, dependencies [01:29.97]—are dependent on our level of self-esteem. [01:33.03]The more we have, the better we deal with things. [01:36.09]Positive self-esteem is important because when people experience it, [01:41.35]they feel good and look good, they are effective and productive, [01:46.05]and they respond to other people and themselves in healthy, positive, growing ways. [01:52.51]People who have positive self-esteem know that they are lovable and capable, [01:58.85]and they care about themselves and other people. [02:02.03]They do not have to build themselves up by tearing other people down [02:06.94]or by patronizing less competent people. [02:10.66]Our background largely determines what we will become in personality [02:16.03]and more importantly in self-esteem. [02:18.87]Where do feelings of worthlessness come from? [02:22.37]Many come from our families, [02:24.78]since more than 80% of our waking hours up to the age of eighteen [02:29.59]are spent under their direct influence. [02:32.55]We are who we are because of where we’ve been. [02:36.16]We build our own brands of self-esteem from four ingredients: [02:40.86]fate, the positive things life offers, the negative things life offers [02:47.54]and our own decisions about how to respond to fate, the positives and the negatives. [02:54.11]Neither fate nor decisions can be determined by other people in our own life. [03:00.34]No one can change fate. [03:02.64]We can control our thinking and therefore our decisions in life.

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