Good-bye, My Ill-fated Motherland!

“再见罢，我不幸的乡土哟！”

◎ Ba Jin

◎　巴　金

The moment I set foot on the deck of the ship, there began my temporary separation from Chinese soil and a feeling of parting sorrow welled up in my heart. At sailing time, I stood on deck watching the ship receding slowly from the bank until I was out of sight of the towering waterfront buildings and the foreign warships on the Huangpu River. Thereupon I turned round with hot tears in my eyes, murmuring, "Good-bye, my ill-fated motherland!"?

踏上了轮船的甲板以后，我便和中国的土地暂别了，心里自然装满了悲哀和离愁①。开船的时候我站在甲板上，望着船慢慢地往后退离开了岸②，一直到我看不见岸上高大的建筑物③和黄浦江中的外国兵舰，我才掉过头来。我的眼里装满了热泪，我低声说了一句：“再见罢，我不幸的乡土哟！”④

Good-bye, my ill-fated motherland! I owe what I am to the upbringing you have given me during the past 22 years. I have spent every day of my life in your warm bosom and under your loving care. You have given me joy and sorrow as well as food and clothing. This is where my close relatives were born and brought up and where I have friends here and there. You gave me a wide variety of happiness in my early childhood, but you have also been the source of my sorrow ever since I began to understand things.

再见罢，我不幸的乡土哟，这二十二年来你养育了我⑤。我无日不在你的怀抱中，我无日不受你的扶持。我的衣食取给于你。我的苦乐也是你的赐与。我的亲人生长在这里，我的朋友也散布在这里。在幼年时代你曾使我享受种种的幸福；可是在我有了知识以后⑥你又成了我的痛苦的源泉了。

Here I have witnessed all sorts of human tragedy. Here I have come to know the times we live in. Here I have undergone untold sufferings. I have been struggling, fighting and, time and again, found myself on the brink of destruction and covered all over with cuts and bruises. I have laid to rest, with tears and sighs, some of my close relatives — relatives victimized by old feudal ethics.

在这里我看见了种种人间的悲剧，在这里我认识了我们所处的时代，在这里我身受了各种的痛苦。我挣扎，我苦斗，我几次濒于灭亡，我带了遍体的鳞伤。我用了眼泪和叹息埋葬了我的一些亲人，他们是被旧礼教杀了的。

Here, besides beautiful mountains and rivers and fertile farmland, we have ghastly prisons and execution grounds as well. Here bad people hold sway while good people suffer and justice is trodden down underfoot. Here people have to wage a savage struggle in order to win freedom. Here man eats man. O the numerous terrible scenes! O the numerous sad memories!

这里有美丽的山水，肥沃的田畴，同时又有黑暗的监狱和刑场。在这里坏人得志、好人受苦，正义受到摧残。在这里人们为了争取自由，不得不从事残酷的斗争。在这里人们在吃他的同类的人⑦。——那许多的惨酷的景象，那许多的悲痛的回忆！

O the grand Yellow River! O the mysterious Yangtse River! Where on earth are your glories of the past? O my native land! O my people! How can I have the heart to leave you?

哟，雄伟的黄河，神秘的扬子江哟，你们的伟大的历史在哪里去了⑧？这样的国土！这样的人民！我的心怎么能够离开你们⑨！

Good-bye, my ill-fated motherland! Much as I hate you, I've got to

再见罢，我不幸的乡土哟！我恨你，我又不得不爱你⑩。

《“再见罢，我不幸的乡土哟！”》是巴金（1904—2005）22岁去国赴法学习时所写，现选自他的散文集《海上杂记》。文章充满诗一般的深情，写出了20世纪初中国青年人的共同情感。