她似乎很清楚前进的方向，我也乐于追随。我开始说服自己，也许，再次拿起手术刀是有可能的。我感觉自己轻松了些。
She seemed clear that this was the way to go, and I was happy to follow. Maybe, I began to let myself believe, performing surgery again was a possibility. I felt myself relax a little.

“我能抽烟吗？”我开了个玩笑。
“Can I start smoking?” I joked.

露西哈哈大笑。艾玛却翻了个白眼。
Lucy laughed, and Emma rolled her eyes.

“不行。还有什么严肃的问题吗？”
“No. Any serious questions?”

“卡普兰-迈耶——”
“The Kaplan-Meier—”

“那个我们就不谈了。”她说。
“We’re not discussing that,” she said.

我不明白她为什么这么抗拒。毕竟，我是个医生，很熟悉这些数据。我自己也能查到……那我也只好这么干了。
I didn’t understand her resistance. After all, I was a doctor familiar with these statistics. I could look them up myself. . . so that’s what I would have to do.

“好吧，”我说，“那一切都很清楚了。就等明天你拿到EGFR结果了。如果有突变，我们就开始吃那个药——特罗凯。如果没有，那就周一开始化疗。”
“Okay,” I said, “then I think everything is pretty clear. We’ll hear from you tomorrow about the EGFR results. If yes, then we’ll start a pill, Tarceva. If no, then we start chemotherapy Monday.”

“对。我还希望你清楚一件事：现在我是你的医生。你有任何问题，不管是初级治疗还是其他什么，你都要第一时间来找我们。”
“Right. The other thing I want you to know is this: I am your doctor now. Any problem you have, from primary care to whatever, you come to us first.”

又是一阵强烈的亲切感。
Again, I felt a pang of kinship.

“谢谢，”我说，“住院部值班好运。”
“Thanks,” I said. “And good luck on the inpatient wards.”

她离开了，但片刻之后又探头进来：“这事儿你想拒绝就拒绝，不过有些肺癌相关的募款组织想见见你。你别急着表态，自己先想想，感兴趣的话就跟艾丽克西斯说一声。别做任何你不愿意做的事。”
She left the room, only to pop her head back in a second later. “Feel free to say no to this, but there are some lung cancer fundraisers who would love to meet you. Don’t answer now—think about it, and let Alexis know if you might be interested. Don’t do anything you don’t want to.”

我们离开诊室，露西说：“她很棒，很适合你。不过……”她笑了，“我觉得她喜欢你。”
As we left, Lucy remarked, “She’s great. She’s a good fit for you. Although. . . ” She smiled. “I think she likes you.”

“所以呢？”
“And?”

“嗯，有个研究说，医生在诊断有自己个人感情的病人时，表现比较糟糕。”
“Well, there’s that study that says doctors do a worse job prognosticating for patients they’re personally invested in.”

我大笑一声，说：“现在那么多烦心事，这事儿估计是最不用操心的了。”
“On our list of things to worry about,” I said, with a laugh, “I think that’s in the bottom quartile.”