双语·老实人 第二十三章 老实人与玛丁在英国海岸上见到的事
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Chapter 23 Candide and Martin Touch upon the English Coast—What They See There
“Ah Pangloss！Pangloss！Ah Martin！Ah my dear Miss Cunegund！What sort of a world is this?”Thus exclaimed Candide as soon as he got on board the Dutch ship.
“Why something very foolish, and very abominable，”said Martin.
“You are acquainted with England，”said Candide；“are they as great fools in that country as in France?”
“Yes, but in a different manner，”answered Martin.“You know that these two nations are at war about a few acres of barren land in the neighborhood of Canada, and that they have expended much greater sums in the contest than all Canada is worth. To say exactly whether there are a greater number ft to be inhabitants of a madhouse in the one country than the other, exceeds the limits of my imperfect capacity；I know in general that the people we are going to visit are of a very dark and gloomy disposition.”
As they were chatting thus together they arrived at Portsmouth. The shore on each side the harbor was lined with a multitude of people, whose eyes were steadfastly fixed on a lusty man who was kneeling down on the deck of one of the men-of-war, with something tied before his eyes.Opposite to this personage stood four soldiers, each of whom shot three bullets into his skull, with all the composure imaginable；and when it was done, the whole company went away perfectly well satisfed.
“What the devil is all this for?”said Candide，“and what demon, or foe of mankind, lords it thus tyrannically over the world?”
He then asked who was that lusty man who had been sent out of the world with so much ceremony. When he received for answer, that it was an admiral.
“And pray why do you put your admiral to death?”
“Because he did not put a suffcient number of his fellow creatures to death. You must know, he had an engagement with a French admiral, and it has been proved against him that he was not near enough to his antagonist.”
“But，”replied Candide，“the French admiral must have been as far from him.”
“There is no doubt of that；but in this country it is found requisite, now and then, to put an admiral to death, in order to encourage the others to fght.”
Candide was so shocked at what he saw and heard, that he would not set foot on shore, but made a bargain with the Dutch skipper（were he even to rob him like the captain of Surinam）to carry him directly to Venice.
The skipper was ready in two days. They sailed along the coast of France, and passed within sight of Lisbon, at which Candide trembled.From thence they proceeded to the Straits, entered the Mediterranean, and at length arrived at Venice.
“God be praised，”said Candide, embracing Martin，“this is the place where I am to behold my beloved Cunegund once again. I can confide in Cacambo, like another self.All is well, all is very well, all is well as possible.”
第二十三章 老实人与玛丁在英国海岸上见到的事
“啊，邦葛罗斯！邦葛罗斯！啊，玛??！玛丁！啊，亲爱的居内贡！这是什么世界呀？”老实人在荷兰船上这么叫着。
玛丁答道：“都是些疯狂丑恶的事儿?！?/p>
“你到过英国，那边的人是不是跟法国人一样疯狂的？”
玛丁道：“那是另外一种疯狂。英法两国正为了靠近加拿大的几百亩雪地打仗，为此英勇地战争，所花的钱已经大大超过了全加拿大的价值。该送疯人院的人究竟哪一国更多，恕我资质愚钝，无法奉告。我只知道我们要遇到的人性情忧郁，肝火很旺?！?/p>
说话之间，他们进了朴次茅斯港；港内泊着舰队；岸上人山人海，睁着眼睛望着一个胖子；他跪在一条兵船的甲板上，四个兵面对着他，每人若无其事地朝他脑袋放了三枪；岸上的看客便心满意足地回去了。
老实人道：“怎么回事呀？哪个魔鬼这样到处发威的？”他向人打听，那个在隆重的仪式中被枪毙的胖子是谁。
“是个海军提督[50]?！庇腥嘶卮?。
“为什么要杀他呢？”
“因为他杀人杀得不够，他和一个法国海军提督作战，离开敌人太远了?！?/p>
老实人道：“可是法国提督离开英国提督不是一样远吗？”
旁边的人回答：“不错；可是这个国家，每隔多少时候总得杀掉个把海军提督，鼓励一下别的海军提督?！?/p>
老实人对于所见所闻，又惊骇，又厌恶，简直不愿意上岸；当下跟荷兰船主讲妥价钱，把船直放佛尼市；哪怕这船主会像苏利南的那个一样地拐骗他，也顾不得了。
两天以后，船主准备停当，把船沿着法国海岸驶去；远远望见里斯本的时候，老实人吓得直打哆嗦。接着进了海峡，驶入地中海；终于到了佛尼市。
老实人搂着玛丁叫道：“哎??！谢谢上帝！这儿我可以和美人居内贡相会了。我相信加刚菩跟相信我自己一样?？嗑「世?，否极泰来，不是样样都十全十美了吗？”
